


Ineffable Husband/Dad Headcanons

by ShenanigansEnsue



Series: Ineffable Dads [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Bookshop Owner/Tatoo Artist AU, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Nail Polish, Weddings, Wild West AU, Youtuber AU, musician au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 11:10:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21319234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenanigansEnsue/pseuds/ShenanigansEnsue
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.  Some headcanons do include my OC.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Dads [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1399747
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	1. Highschool AU

  * Aziraphale is a Prep™
  * Gabriel and the gang basically run the entirety of student gov, Aziraphale is one of the lower members, probably treasurer
  * Crowley is part of the certified Losers™, would be anarchist who are actually just are a bunch of loners that hang out together at lunch
  * Crowley is the only one who really does anything, graffiti on the gym wall, asking daring questions in class and the like
  * He goes to detention on a daily basis to the point where he plans his entire day around it
  * Az and Crowley meet in drama club
  * Az is doing it because A) it looks good on a college resume, and B) he likes it
  * Crowley is doing it as part of his punishment for bringing a snake into the teacher’s lounge
  * Crowley ends up being one of the best actors in the club and he and Az start to get paired up for scenes
  * Shenanigans ensue


	2. Tatoo Shop and Bookshop AU

  * Crowley opens up his tattoo parlor right across the street to Aziraphale’s book shop, much to the other’s dismay
  * It’s not so much the clientele coming into his shop, rather that fact people are coming at all
  * Az comes from old money and doesn’t need to sell any books to stay afloat, he opened the bookshop only so he’d have a place to store all his books
  * Crowley, meanwhile, has spotted the slightly flustered bookshop owner, and is rather smitten
  * Enter Isabelle
  * Crowley adopted her after she was all but left on his doorstep years ago
  * He’s loves the girl like mad, but with the opening on the tatoo parlor, he hasn’t had the funds to hire a babysitter
  * The bookshop is the perfect place besides his office for her to stay after school
  * She starts coming in regularly not long after it opens, searching around for any children’s books she can find
  * Az, at first, doesn’t know what to do, as he very well can’t ask a child to leave, but he doesn’t have many children’s books for her to read
  * He soon finds she enjoys plays, and starts spending his afternoons reading them aloud to her
  * She reveals soon enough her father is the one who owns the tattoo shop across the way
  * Az starts to see Crowley in a different light, until he finally comes into the shop telling Isabelle it’s time to come home
  * Isabelle looks between her dad and the nice bookshop owner, grinning in pride as Aziraphale asks Crowley if he’d like to stop by for a cup of tea sometime


	3. Wild West AU

  * I’m honestly don’t know what to say about this except, the plot of Good Omens, but they have cowboy hats on
  * This is a classic white hat, black hat set up except the white hat just wants to run his book shop, while the black hat is more interested in hanging out with the theater trope when it comes to town and occasionally rustling some cattle (but always ends up given them back anyway)
  * Heaven and crew are proper civilization, corrupt politicians, governors and the like
  * Hell are a band of outlaws scattered across various towns causing mayhem with no real end goal in mind
  * Anathema is still a decent of a witch, having come out west via Stagecoach to fulfill a family prophecy
  * Newt is a bookkeeper who desperately wants to be a cowboy, like in the stories, but can’t ride a horse to save his life
  * Adam and The Them, are children in a small farming community
  * Madame Tracy runs the local brothel
  * And Shadwell is a former Union soldier who still thinks there’s a war on


	4. Musician AU

  * Aziraphale is a pianist, and has been playing since he could reach all the keys
  * His family pushed him into it; his siblings Gabriel and Michael were a violinist and cellist respectively, a pianist was needed to round out the band, as it were
  * Aziraphale never minded though, he loves the instrument, but at times wishes he could just do it for himself
  * Crowley is the lead guitarist for a band he joined in secondary school
  * He wants, very badly, to be like Brian May or Jimmy Hendrix, but is hindered by the fact the rest of the band ends up sounding like Nickelback
  * It also doesn’t help he constantly gets into arguments about the direction of the band with lead vocalist Beelzebub and bassist Hastur
  * Aziraphale and Crowley first meet in a bar during open mic night
  * It’s normally not the kind of place Aziraphale would end up, but he wanted a chance to play
  * Once he got on stage, however, it was obvious the clientele weren’t a fan of classical music
  * Enter Crowley, who actually liked the man’s playing, but knew some improvisation was needed before he got booed off stage
  * So, Crowley grabs a guitar and the two of them start improvising
  * They each walk out of the bar with cash in their pockets, and part ways hoping that they might see the other again


	5. Wizarding World AU

  * Heaven in the Ministry, Hell are Death Eaters, and the rest of Humanity are Muggles
  * Aziraphale has connections to higher up in the Ministry, but is content to head the Department for Misuse of Magical Artifacts; he’s one of the only people in the department that genuinely enjoys and appreciates Muggles
  * Also, total Hufflepuff
  * Crowley joined Satan and the gang right out of Hogwarts
  * Slyterin only in the sense that he expected to be sorted into it; if it wasn’t what he chose, he’d probably be in Ravenclaw for his questions or maybe even Hufflepuff
  * Crowley is often credited for some of the worse atrocities against muggles, but in actuality he just mildly inconveniences them and things escalate
  * Adam is some sort of chosen one or weapon created by Satan to turn against the Muggles
  * The Them, Shadwell, and Madame Tracy are all Muggles
  * Anathema is a witch from America (if we’re using the TV adaptation, Book Anathema went to Hogwarts)
  * And, that’s all I got


	6. YouTuber AU

  * Much to the surprise to anyone who has known them for more than five seconds, Aziraphale is the one to start the channel
  * After he and Crowley adopted Isabelle, Aziraphale has been putting more of an effort to actually cook proper food rather than going out all the time
  * He’s not that great at it, but he’s enthusiastic to learn, and Isabelle is all to happy to help
  * She starts showing him YouTube videos of people making different recipes and Aziraphale thinks it looks like fun
  * So, both he and Isabelle get a camera, and start making videos
  * Crowley has to help them with the actually shooting and editing of the thing since 1) Aziraphale hasn’t updated his computer since the early 90s and 2) Isabelle is ten
  * Isabelle talks about her day while they’re making stuff and keeps correcting Aziraphale on what he’s doing wrong
  * Meanwhile Azirphale listens, occasionally putting in his own input while also taking about other little things like his books or a play he and Isabelle has been reading together
  * They soon gain a small following of people thinking this little father daughter duo trying and often failing to make the perfect meal is the most pure thing they’ve ever seen
  * They often get comments about how nice it is to see such a healthy, kind representation of an adopted parent and child dynamic
  * Viewers also love the one way conversations with the mysterious person behind the camera
  * At some point, either live streaming or when they decide to to a Q&A video Isabelle practically drags Crowley out from behind the camera and both she and Aziraphale gush about how much Crowley has helped them make their videos
  * Crowley makes some minor grumbling about the entire situation which only endears him to the people watching from home


	7. Crowley Painting Aziraphale's Nails

  * Painting his nails is not something Crowley does often
  * It’s more of a spur of the moment “hey I’m kinda stressed, I need to focus on something else for a few hours” kind of situation
  * Or a phase he had in the 80s, but that’s neither here nor there
  * So, Aziraphale is a little surprised to see Crowley sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of black nail polish by his side
  * Crowley just tells him he’s doing it because he’s bored, but Aziraphale can see through it fairly quickly
  * Rather than push him, he just asks if Crowley can do his nails as well
  * Crowley is a little surprised as he knows for a fact the angel gets his nails professionally manicured at least twice a month.
  * Aziraphale claims the person he regularly goes to is all full up and would appreciate if Crowley did his nails instead
  * Crowley makes a front of protesting, but soon enough they’re both siting next to each other taking about nothing in particular as Crowley does his nails
  * It’s all rather nice


	8. Ineffable Husbands Wedding

[@oldergod](https://tmblr.co/mHW9rROB-l6Ch5FhBG0-rkA) had a response to a similar [question here](https://ineffable-dads.tumblr.com/post/185890004167/when-and-where-do-you-think-the-ineffable-husbands). Which I quite agree with.

  * By all accounts they act married. And even refer to the other as “husband” or “partner”, but never go down to the courthouse and tie the knot. 
  * They’re celestial beings after all and such superficiality as being able to do their taxes together doesn’t really apply to them.
  * Besides, a marriage ceremony is just as much a celebration of the coming together of two families as it is a celebration of the couple, and Aziraphale and Crowley don’t have anyone else besides themselves.
  * It’s a societal construct meant to prove their love to the world, but neither of them have anyone to prove it to besides each other, and they do that every day without the need for a big wedding.


	9. Aziraphale and Crowley go to Malibu

  * I can picture it now
  * Aziraphale walking out in a swimsuit he literally bought back in 1910 while Crowley comes striding out in a Speedo he got in the 80s while on holiday in Spain
  * Still given most of Southern California, they wouldn’t stand out much
  * They go down a few miles to Venice Beach, they wouldn’t even be considered the weird ones
  * Although, I don’t really see either of them getting in the water
  * More likely they’d just sunbath on the beach, reading and people watching

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you like this, check out my blog @ https://ineffable-dads.tumblr.com
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos if you're so inclined


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